Goldilocks and the Three Bachelors
by Slightly Obsessed
Summary: Lizzie dreams she is Goldilocks. Will she find a bed that is just right? ONE SHOT LG.


_Okay, I admit, my first story was kind of intense. I've toned this one down quite a bit. It's more fun than anything else. Please feel free to comment, on either story, even anonymously, if that's easier. I really would love to know what you all think!  
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"I had the strangest dream last night," Lizzie confided to Miranda as they sat in the campus café, sipping cappuccinos. "Do you want to hear it?"

"Wait," Miranda said. "Is this going to be like all the other dreams you've been telling me about lately?"

"What do you mean?" Lizzie wondered.

"I mean is it going to end with you and Gordo in bed making wild passionate love to each other?"

Lizzie gasped. "All my other dreams are not like that!"

"Yes, they are," Miranda said evenly. "Think about it!"

Lizzie thought about it for a moment, then giggled. "I guess they are," she admitted. "But they don't mean anything."

"You need to quit dreaming, girl!" Miranda advised. "Wake up to the facts, Lizzie. You want Gordo as much as he wants you."

"Oh, Miranda," Lizzie scoffed. "They're just silly dreams. They don't really mean anything."

"Not according to Professor McDonald. Remember what he told us Carl Jung said? 'Dream analysis is the most important technical means of opening up an avenue to the unconscious.' Or something like that."

"And what does that mean?" Lizzie asked. "And what does it matter? Besides, this dream has more to do with children's fairy tales than anything going on in my subconscious….unconscious…whatever…"

"Fairy tales?" Miranda questioned.

"Yes!" Lizzie brightened. "It's so funny! Do you want to hear it?"

Miranda could tell she was not going to be able to stop Lizzie even if she wanted to. Besides, there was always the chance that if Lizzie actually listened to herself and put together the pieces, she would finally realize what everyone else around her, including Gordo, had already known for ages: that she was madly in love with her very best guy friend.

"Okay, shoot," Miranda said, settling back with her cappuccino.

Lizzie wiggled in her seat, preparing to tell her dream. She had been having so many wild dreams lately, and she loved telling them to Miranda, who was usually able to offer valuable insight, when she wasn't stuck on this "You want Gordo as much as he wants you" theme. Lizzie wondered how Miranda would interpret this one. She began.

"Well, you know I've really been enjoying Professor McDonald's Children's Literature class. All that 'kid-lit' stuff is really getting stuck in my brain, so I think that's where this dream came from. Because as it begins, I'm walking through this magical forest when all of the sudden I see this cute little cabin, tucked away in the trees, with a golden glow in the windows, and smoke coming out of the chimney, and colorful flowers lining the winding path right up to the front door. The place looks so friendly, I can't resist. I take the path, knock on the door…and discover that it's already open, so I go inside. And this is where it starts to get weird."

"Oh?" Miranda said. "Wandering around in a magical forest is not weird enough for you already?"

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

"I'm sorry," Miranda said. " Why was it so weird? Do tell."

"It was weird," Lizzie revealed, "because as soon as I opened the door of the cabin, I was instantly inside the guys' new apartment."

"The guys" were Gordo, Tudge and Ethan. Gordo and Tudge had lived in the dorms during their first year of college, but as sophomores they yearned for more independence and decided to move into an apartment. They found a nice place for a reasonable rent, but needed a third roommate. Ethan Craft happened to be looking for new living arrangements at the same time, and so an unlikely trio of roommates was formed.

Lizzie and Miranda had long ago gotten over their schoolgirl crushes on Ethan, but now with him prominently back in their lives again, the craziness was starting up all over. However, even as they hoped for the best for themselves, they also worried that Ethan's womanizing ways might prove a corrupting and disrupting influence on good boys Gordo and Tudge. Too many times already they had heard the new apartment jokingly referred to as a "swinging bachelor pad."

Now, the fact that Lizzie was dreaming about the Bachelor Pad was of the greatest interest to Miranda. "So," she grinned. "It sounds like Ethan is going to be in this dream?"

"He is," Lizzie said. "But not yet. Let me tell you what happened first."

"What happened first?" Miranda asked, only wanting to get through it so she could hear the part about Ethan.

"Well," Lizzie said, "I had been traveling quite a while in the forest, so I was hungry and tired, but more tired than hungry, so I thought I would first look for a good place to take a nap. I began to walk down the long hallway and I noticed that all the doors were closed. So I stopped at the first one."

"That would be Tudge's room. Did you go inside?"

"Yes, I did. But first, I took off this big red cape thing I was wearing---"

Miranda laughed. "A red cape? Who are you? Little Red Riding Hood? And don't tell me! Is Ethan the Big Bad Wolf?"

"No," Lizzie said, quite seriously. "This is more like Goldilocks and the Three Bears---"

"But the cape---"

"I know. I'm mixing up my fairy tales. It doesn't matter though, because it's just a dream. And anyway, it doesn't matter, because I took off the cape. And when I did…and this was pretty weird too…I was completely naked."

Miranda's eyes got really big. "You were naked? And you went into Tudge's room? What happened?"

"Well…that's just it," Lizzie said, making a face. "Not much. I went in, and the room was pretty dark, but I could see the bed, it was a little bed, like a kid's bed, know what I mean? So I got into the bed, and then I discovered that Tudge was already there. He rolled over and put his arm around me. He was wearing these flannel pajamas. They were white and had little….bears, or ducks, or something like that, all over them. And he kept hugging me, and trying to kiss me, and then he pulled up close and was trying to…to poke me….know what I mean?"

Miranda was laughing hysterically by this time. "Don't tell me you did it with Tudge! What was it like? I always wondered what it would be like to do it with Tudge."

Lizzie wrinkled her nose. "In my dream," she said, "it was not so good. We didn't actually do it, anyway. What happened was actually kind of sad---for Tudge, I mean---because no matter how much he kept poking me, it was painfully obvious he didn't have much to work with. He couldn't make any progress, and after a while it just became really annoying, so I got up and left."

Miranda was still laughing, almost to the point of tears. "So what happened next?" she wondered.

"Well, next, I went back out into the hall---and I'm still stark naked, mind you---and I go down to the next door---"

"Ethan!" Miranda exclaimed.

Lizzie nodded. "Yes. And I open that door and go inside. And here I find another bed, a really big bed, a king-size bed, and sprawled out in the middle of it, as naked as I am---"

"Ethan!" Miranda exclaimed, unable to contain herself. "Oh my God, Lizzie! What did he look like? What did he look like? Tell me!"

Lizzie grinned. "He was beautiful. Of course. His skin all tan, his muscles all tight, and that perfectly gorgeous hairless chest…"

"I've seen his chest," Miranda said. "Tell me about something I haven't seen."

"Oh, yeah," Lizzie nodded. "I saw that too. I couldn't help seeing it. It was….enormous. It was sticking straight up in the air, kind of waving hello at me…"

Miranda was beside herself again, banging the table with her fists.

"And then Ethan gives me this big lazy smile and says, real slow and sweet, like he always does, 'Lizzzzzzie…'"

"Did you just die on the spot?"

"No. No. I just stood there, kind of mesmerized by the sight of him. And then he got up and took me by the hand, and brought me back to the bed with him, and laid me down and started to….and started to…you know…"

"No, I don't know!" Miranda said. "What was he like? Tell me!"

"Well, actually, he was kind of…too much. He was so intense, and kind of rough, and actually, it got a little scary. I thought I would enjoy it, but I wasn't enjoying it at all. I was all clamped up, know what I mean? He couldn't make any progress at all with me. And eventually I managed to pull myself away and I more or less ran out of the room."

Lizzie paused, gathering her wits. Miranda had stopped laughing, and sat quietly now, expectantly, waiting for the rest of the story.

"So of course," Lizzie contined after a few moments, "I went down to the last door. And opened it."

"Gordo," Miranda said simply.

Lizzie nodded and sighed. "Yes. Gordo. And there, in that room, I saw another bed. This one was a more normal size, like a full size or a queen size, and Gordo was sleeping right in the middle of it. He was wearing these black silky boxers, and he had his face buried in the pillow, his curls falling all around, and he looked….he looked so…contented, and so peaceful, and I stood there for quite a while, watching him sleep, and thinking how comfortable he looked, and getting more and more sleepy myself just standing there watching him, and wanting to crawl into bed with him…"

Lizzie's voice trailed off, and after a few more moments, Miranda said, "I hope you're not going to tell me that's the end of the dream."

Suddenly Lizzie refocused on her friend and said, "Oh no, not by a long shot. Because eventually he woke up, and he lifted his head and smiled at me, this very sleepy, very happy smile, and he said----and I remember this clear as day----he said, 'Lizzie, I'm so glad you've found me at last.'"

Miranda bit her lip, resisting the urge to interpret immediately. It was so obvious to her! Why couldn't Lizzie see what her dreams were telling her?

"So what was it like?" Miranda asked quietly. "What was it like with Gordo?"

Lizzie sighed. "It was incredible, Miranda. It was….so sweet. He was so sweet. He got up and took me by the hand, just like Ethan had, and brought me to the bed and laid me down…but when he touched me….all over…and then kissed me…he was so passionate, yet so gentle…"

Lizzie paused, catching her breath. She remembered every detail, but she wasn't going to share every detail with Miranda. Some things a girl had to keep for herself, tucked away in her heart. Even if it was only a dream.

"He was…not wimpy, like Tudge," Lizzie said at last. "And he was not rough, like Ethan. He was…just right. And he was not overdressed, like Tudge. And he was not underdressed, like Ethan. He was just right. And then, when he took off those silky boxers, he was not too small, like Tudge. And he was not too big, like Ethan..."

Lizzie smiled quietly. "Well, alright. He was big enough."

"Lizzie…" Miranda said in amazement.

Lizzie blushed. "He was just right," she said. "Everything about him was just right. Everything about the entire experience was…just right."

Miranda stared at her friend. Could it be happening at last? Was Lizzie finally going to wake up and let herself live the dream?

Miranda didn't know what to say to Lizzie. But there was somebody else nearby who had something to say.

"What was 'just right'?"

Lizzie and Miranda both jumped at the same time. Standing at their table was Gordo himself.

"Oh my God!" Miranda cried. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long," Gordo said easily.

"How much did you hear?"

"Not much. Only that something was 'just right.' What are you talking about?"

Lizzie and Miranda both blushed, hiding their faces. Gordo looked at them quizzically.

"Oh…oh…" Lizzie said. "It's a class assignment. Sort of. Dream Interpretation. Carl Jung. It's silly nonsense, actually. If you ask me."

Miranda looked at her pointedly and insisted, "It is not."

Lizzie glared at Miranda. "Anyway," she said to Gordo, changing the subject. "What are you doing here?"

Gordo sat down next to Lizzie. "On my way to Psych. Just stopped in for a soda. I saw you two here, and remembered that I need to invite you over this Friday night."

"Why?" Miranda asked. "What's happening Friday night?"

"Dinner," Gordo said. "Me and the guys are going to fix dinner for all our favorite lady friends. Kate will be there too. You've got to come."

"Why? " Miranda asked. "I didn't know you bears could cook. What are you going to make for us, anyway? _Porridge?_ OW!"

The "OW!" was because Lizzie had suddenly kicked her under the table.

Gordo's brow was again knit up into that quizzical expression. "What is going on with you two?"

"Nothing, nothing," Lizzie said. "We would love to come. Of course we'll come. We wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Great!" Gordo said, jumping up again from the table. "I've got to get my soda and get to class. See you Friday then? "

Lizzie nodded, hoping she wasn't blushing too badly. "Friday," she repeated, smiling weakly.

Gordo returned a big grin. "See you later, Miranda. And see you later….Goldilocks," he winked at Lizzie.

Now she knew for certain she was blushing. Had Gordo really only heard the very end of their conversation, or somehow did he know…?

As Gordo walked away, he suddenly turned, looked directly at Lizzie and said, "By the way, Lizzie, porridge it is, if that's what you like. And I'm going to cook it up for you, and I'm going to make sure that yours is…_just right._ How does that sound?"


End file.
